Again

I have Adrenal Fatigue. Again. It’s like an old annoying family member that you can’t disconnect from.  My health has been up and down, but I started doing really good in October. My hormone replacements had finally kicked in and then it happened. A crazy cluster of crap.  I’ve read so many books that say stress is a choice and to some extent I agree, but sometimes, you don’t choose for life to plode (seemingly a combo of imploding and exploding).  Then a cold that. just. won’t. go. away.  I’m 2 months into it and my adrenals feel STRESSED. My body can’t seem to wake up when my mind does.  So here I am.  Taking 2.5 weeks of doctor ordered rest. No commitments allowed. Taking it moment by moment and really listening to what my body will allow.  So how am I going to manage. Here’s the plan:

  • Rest. Knowing that God is in control and this failing body is in His hands.
  • Meditate. Take in scripture daily and keep it in my thoughts.
  • Stretch.  Use the time to let me body relax and keep pain away.
  • Read.
  • Water. Get to the pool as much as my body will allow.
  • Eat. Only good food.
  • Cut. Caffeine and simple sugars.
  • Laugh. With sweet friends and family.
  • Work. Make priorities of each area of life and then execute when I have energy.
  • Blog. A few people have told me I should blog. I love Jon Acuff’s writing and follow him closely.  One thing he continues to remind his readers is that you aren’t good at the beginning. Just start. That’s how you get good. So, I’m starting again.

Educational tip: If you have Adrenal, thyroid or fibromalgia problems like me, I went back to the advice that got me out the first time.  Adrenal Fatigue by Dr. Wilson, Hypothyroid Mom, The Paleo Mom, and my doc, Dr. Elizabeth Baker.

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The beginnings…

The last time I blogged was when Xanga was popular and facebook was just for college students.  I was one of those said college students and most of my posts were directed to friends about the goings on.  This is different.  College is now 6 years behind.  I have been married for over 3 years and working for a company I love for 4.5 years.  My faith in my Savior Jesus has grown as my theology has deepened.  I started to attend a new church right before I got married (due to marrying my husband) and have been sitting under the teaching of a very faithful pastor; he has a love for Jesus which is shown through his diligence in handling the Bible; he is dedicated to bringing us truth even if it isn’t popular.   The church has become a new family who love me despite the sinner that I am.

These things that have changed since college (husband, job, church) have all been means of grace. These are not the only means of grace that have been in my life, just new. I have had faithful friends and family whose kindness and love I can’t replace.

Four years ago I started a journey, a journey of my body falling a part.  It started with a 2 week bought of tonsillitis and continued with sickness after sickness (flus, sinus infections, bronchitis) and other weird things.  Then chronic pain, headaches, fatigue and other uncomfortable things.  In April of this year, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  It is an odd diagnosis, because a doctor can’t do a tests for this.  It was diagnosed after all other scary things are ruled out (cancer, lupus, MS, Lymes disease and many more).  It is a diagnosis that I believe to be correct, because I am a classic case with all the symptoms.  After I told a good friend about this, she said she couldn’t believe this wasn’t suggested before.

You see, Fibromyalgia has such a bad stigma.  I remember the night before going to the doctor and being so anxious about the possibility of this diagnosis. You would think that cancer would have been a bigger concern.  It was in the back of my mind, but more so was Fibromyalgia.  The stigma is that people with Fibromyalgia are just lazy, crazy or exaggerate.  I have spent hours reading through medical journals and books to understand this.  For now, I have made lots of changes in life to help limit the symptoms as there is no known cause or cure. There has been lots of progress, some answers, but more questions and daily dealing with a body that doesn’t just work.  Like today, I woke up at 4 am and my right arm just wouldn’t work.  However, this blog post isn’t really about Fibromyalgia. Rather, it is about my journey in coming to grips with a world cursed by sin and a body still under that curse.  It is a journey of suffering and bitterness. It is a journey of joy, joy not found in things of this earth, but of hope to come.  It is a journey of faith, seeing God’s present faithfulness and trusting in future grace.  It is journey in God’s redeeming hand refining me so that I may be complete, lacking in nothing.

I’m not sure what will be included in this blog. Some days I may just post a verse or encouraging thought, others I may share a new medical discovery or a great recipe. All of this as I hash out being a daughter redeemed with a chronic illness. God is so faithful; may He be made much of in this.